Ding Dong: It’s Tiangong!

World at risk from Shitty Chinese Knockoff. China’s ‘space lab,’ meant to Bring Glory to Motherland with Big Sky Knowledge and Domination, hasn’t been heard from in almost 2 years. Their multibillion dollar space machine has just been floating aimlessly around the world as its shoddily-made components malfunctioned and now it will reenter the Earth roughly between 43 degrees north and 43 degrees south, an area containing basically every major world city, but no one knows exactly where.  spaceDon’t worry, risk to humans is minimal as it’s mostly expected to break up and burn up upon reentering the atmosphere, but seriously, what the fuck China.

The expert quoted in CNN’s story on the giant space failure says that if we can get a hold of debris it will lend some insight into China’s space program and we can see what kind of technology they are using: “‘It would be an opportunity for Western analysts to look at remnants of China space hardware. That’s a risk for the Chinese,” said Michael Listner, a lawyer and space law expert.'”  Is he even serious? Does he really think there’s anything in there at all that they came up with themselves and didn’t steal from us? Probably 99% of their space lab technology was from the US and Europe and that other 1% is why it’s AWOL and about to fall on us.

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